I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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