I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
