Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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