He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
