i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
