No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
