I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize