We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
