i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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