Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
