Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
