What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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