Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Porn is love you can see.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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