Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
