Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.

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(562): View more from California

tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will

(714): View more from California

and a girl gets the red ring of death every month

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...

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(701): View more from North Dakota

ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO

Fav 8 2022 1508
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(219): View more from Indiana

You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.

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(619): View more from California

I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.

Fav 13 2084 815
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken

Fav 2 815 425
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(303): View more from Colorado

no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS

(303): View more from Colorado

AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????

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