so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
