I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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