i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize