the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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