their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
