i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
