Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
