dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
