Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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