I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize