we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize