he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
