I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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