Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
