You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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