Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
