I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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