I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
