I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
