and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
