We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
