Your tits are I can't wait for
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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