That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
