you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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