wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
