i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize