I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
