I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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