So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
