ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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