in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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