Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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