Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
