You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
