It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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