the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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