dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
