Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
