Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
