Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
