Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
