Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
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