I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
