no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
