I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
