wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
