Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
