We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
