I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If I die, sorry about rent.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
