I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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