I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Watching her eat just hurts me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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