well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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